A rose by any other name

What names have you been called? I have been thinking about the names I’ve been called throughout my life and how they have affected me. Some bothered me briefly, others have stuck with me a long time.

  • eyeglassesThe first time I remember being teased with name-calling was when I first got my glasses in the third grade.  I was thrilled to be able to see, but worried my classmates would call me “four-eyes.”  They did, especially the boy who chased me across the playground every recess and who later gave me my first Valentine’s gift.  I went through a time when I was embarrassed to be seen in my glasses and would walk around blind if I couldn’t wear my contacts.  Obviously, I’m over that now.  
  • I was a good student who liked school.  That earned me names like “nerd,” “geek,” “goody-two-shoes,” and “square.”  Those names didn’t bother me too much then or now.  I didn’t even take the teasing to through me out a second story window too seriously when I scored well on a test everyone else bombed. 
  • On the other hand, I was not confident through middle school.  I spent most of my time lost in whatever book I was currently reading. I walked down the halls with my eyes staring straight at my feet because I was afraid to even say hello to the other students.  Even though it was sometimes awkward, those feelings didn’t define all of me.  I had safe places to be myself–my Girl Scout troop and church youth group.  During the same years I hid at school, I was teaching adults to tie knots, lay a campfire, and pitch a tent.
  • I first felt the potentially devastating impact of name-calling at Governor’s School (a six-week camp/school for extra-smart high school students in NC).  My new best friend and I had been hanging out with a couple of guys we met.  We enjoyed laughing and joking together until one day they gave us the complete cold shoulder.  To say the least, my friend and I were confused.  We confronted the guys to ask why the sudden change.  They turned all shades of red before they admitted that another girl had told them to stay away from us because we were total sluts.  How would you react?
  • I think my reaction surprised them–and maybe me, too.  I burst out laughing.  Remember from the point above that I was considered a complete goody-two-shoes.  (I was the one fellow band members asked to sneak alcohol in my suitcase because my bags would never be searched.  No, I never took them up on it.  I liked my reputation.) I found the whole idea of the slut rumor riduculous because it was so far from who I was.  My laughter was probably the best response.  Because I didn’t take it seriously, neither did the guys.  We soon resumed our friendship and the rumor died right there.

Name-calling happens.  How do you deal with it?  What advice would you share with someone who is suffering from the names people label them with?

Photo “8 marzo” from http://www.flickr.com/photos/43129737@N00/2320986818  Used with a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

Leave a Reply